Week 3

I'm a week into the "mushies" and boy it's been great to have more variety!  I was having issues with the liquid phase simply because I felt empty & needed to feel satisfied.  I was NOT hungry, just felt like I needed something with more substance.  I've been enjoying cottage cheese, avocados, soft cheese (Laughing Cow), sweet potatoes, etc.  I have 3 more weeks of this (4 weeks total) then I can eat more normally.  I won't be able to have steak, but soft meats like fish and ground meats.  Now I can pretty much eat anything that doesn't require chewing.

Since pre-op (11/21) I've lost a total of 23.5 lbs.  Since surgery on 12/5 I've lost 13.  It's a lot to lose in a few weeks yet I can't help but feeling like it's slow.  I know, it's completely ridiculous to feel like that.  I am so happy I made this decision & I can't wait to see my progress over the next few months.

I'll try to be better at posting, I just haven't felt like I have much to say recently. 


I'm sleeved!

I was sleeved 12/5 - wow that feels great to say!  I've lost 5 lbs since surgery, 16 total.  Small start but still re-cooperating.  The most walking I've done is the trip to the grocery store last night which wore me out!  Every day gets easier though and I'm less sore now.  Not really hungry yet, just feeling empty.  The hardest part so far has been the pre-op diet.

The worst part, for me, has been the gas pressure.  Walking helps more than gas strips, but they have helped some.  This people warned me about. 

Now for the stuff nobody talked about... the taste in my mouth from the sugar free everything.  It leaves a funky aftertaste that I can't seem to get rid of so I'm trying to drink more decaf tea and plain water instead. 

Diarrhea.  Yep, I wasn't expecting it & in all of my reading I never once had someone mention it.  Finally after asking one of my fellow sleevers said she had it 10 days or so after.  So as badly as I want to pass the gas while walking I can't because I'm afraid of passing more.  LOL sorry if TMI but it's blunt truth.  That has also gotten better as the days pass though.  Everything is getting easier and despite the discomfort and unpleasantness overall it's WORTH IT.

The shots suck.  My doctor prescribes an anti-clotting injection for 14 days after surgery.  I give myself a shot in the belly (well below my incisions) every night around 8pm.  Most often its no biggie and doesn't hurt but last night's injection wasn't fun. And even though I know it doesn't hurt I still have a hard time with it.

Day by day is easier and I'm so grateful for this new beginning.  I'm still in disbelief that it's really happening. 

On a side note, I got pre-approved for a house!  Today will be my 2nd outing: going to see 2 houses my realtor found in my price range.  Here's to new beginnings!


T- minus 2...

The site has been uncooperative these past few days so I've been unable to post. I had to improvise and am using the mobile app instead. 

Surgery is the day after tomorrow. Just. Two. Days. Or one, I guess. Today is my last day in the office. I'm working from home tomorrow. People warned me that the pre-surgery antibiotics will have my bowels screaming and I'd rather not share that with my team members at work. It'll be good anyway to be home so I can get laundry done and get some last minute stuff ready. 

Remember that nesting stuff I was talking about? Yeah that passed. My house is dusty and covered in dog hair again, as it should be. Although it's not as cluttered I haven't been staying on top of the dusting etc. 

My fridge is stocked with clear protein drinks - which I'm told taste like ass - and my pantry is fully stocked with chicken broth, protein powder, calcium chews, and so on. My prescriptions are all filled and I have my gas strips on hand. 

I am ready. 

My new beginning is Thursday. 

Tomorrow night I'll take the dreaded "before" pictures and finally update that section of this thing!

Wish me luck. <3


Check, check, check!

I picked up 5 of my 6 prescriptions tonight. Tomorrow I'll pickup the last one.

Last night I made several marinades from onions, citrus, and several other ingredients.  Tomorrow I'll grill my first batch of chicken to take for lunch on Thursday.

I'm a little nervous to start the pre-op but excited at the same time. I made a realization the other night that I'm only 2 (now 1) days away from my new beginning. 

I read a post on Facebook today from a girl who is a year post op. She suggested making a video, now, at my beginning, to my future self as a means of encouragement. In the video I should tell myself why I'm doing this so that later, when I'm feeling discouraged I can watch it and get a pep talk from my fat self. She didn't say that part, but it's the truth.  I'm definitely going to do that. 

So close!



It's official, I'm approved!

((((Booty shaking happy dance))))

I got the call this morning.  Technically I knew already.  I called my insurance company yesterday to ensure they received my file from the doctor's office & they informed me of the approval.  I was giddy but didn't want to get too excited until I received the final word from my doctor.  This morning nurse Becky called to tell me the good news & give me the go-ahead to fill my prescriptions.

Three weeks from tomorrow I'll be headed to the operating room & on my way to a new life.  

3.  Wow.  

I can't believe it's nearly here.  I start my pre-op on Thursday, a week from tomorrow.  My BFF says she'll suffer through it with me.  I keep telling her she doesn't need to do that but I think she's enticed by the prospect of losing some weight! 


Waiting sucks.  

I called BCBS today to ensure they received my case/file from the doctor's office and they don't have anything yet.  She did tell me that it can take a few days to be uploaded to my file and that Mondays are hectic.  So I called my doctor's office to be sure it was submitted and they confirmed everything got sent over on Thursday.  

Hurry up and wait. 

I ordered another protein flavor from Syntrax: chocolate truffle.  It's yummy and tastes like hot chocolate. 

I also ordered liquid calcium citrate to take right after surgery since I'll be on a liquid diet.  That is NOT so yummy.  I'll be mixing it into my protein drinks I think!

I finished up my COM class and am still in CIS, nearing the end of the semester with a 93%.  I'm trying to decide if I want to change my major to paralegal; my work will pay for certain degrees and dietetics isn't one of them.  Ah the decisions of being a grow up!

I guess I should get myself through this before I try to make any other decisions...


done and done.

My final appointment went well.  I am confirmed for 8:00am on Dec 5th, provided that insurance approves everything.  I'm the first surgery of the day so I have to be there at 6:00am.  I have the paperwork for my pre-op diet and all of the questions I had written down were answered as well.  I ordered another canister of protein powder to ensure my pantry is well stocked for my pre op diet and stage 1-2 of post op.  I'll be shopping next weekend for everything else I need.  I start my pre-op diet Nov 21.  The doctor wrote me 6 7 prescriptions.  Six Seven.  In all of the readings and research nobody ever talked about the prescriptions:
  • antibiotics (2) to be taken the day before surgery.  These will clean out my system and I should expect to be feeling icky that day.  My plan is to work from home.
  • Liquid pain meds (2) for after surgery.  Self explanatory.
  • Anti-nausea meds (2).  I guess it's common to feel sick from the anesthesia but even more common for sleeve patients to feel sick for 3-5 days following the procedure.  The doc normally gives 1 prescription (patches) but he also gave me tablets that dissolve under my tongue.
  • Lovenox.  This is an injection that I will have to give myself daily after surgery to prevent clots.
Variety is the spice of life!  So just as soon as I get clearance I'll fill my prescriptions and pack my hospital bag so I'm prepared.  So close yet so far!

On another note, my sister and her family are coming to town for Thanksgiving.  I'm so excited to see them!  Thanksgiving will be interesting since I'm only allowed to eat turkey, but I can do this. :)
While she's here we're finishing our tattoos.  In 2010 my son & I moved back to AZ from NH.  She and my mom flew there to help us drive back.  While there we each got matching nautical star tattoos with the intention of finishing them when we got back to AZ but we never did.  Now that she's moved to CO (earlier this year) we decided it's time we finished them.  I made our appointments today!

Ok enough for now... I'll end on this: my friend & I are going to enjoy a spa day on Saturday.  I've only had one once before, right after my son was born 10 years ago!  I'm SO looking forward to this.



So here I am on the eve of my final nutritional appointment and my pre-op visit.  My surgery date is still set for Dec 5.  What am I up to?  Cleaning.  Yep, you read that correctly.

Let me back up here.  I should preface this by telling you that I hate cleaning.  I. Hate. Cleaning.  Yes, I know that should go without saying but there are those few cuckoos  out there who actually enjoy it.

I decided last Saturday that I would tackle one mess at a time leading up to my surgery date so that I don't have to sit here for two weeks afterward staring at a mess that I won't be able to do anything much about.  Ordinarily I sit here every Saturday, relaxing after a long week and do my best to will the messes away only to find that they're still taunting me on Sunday night.  But for some reason I suddenly have a bug up my ass to do something about it and, get this, the will power.  Which brings me to the conclusion that we really do have this natural instinct to prepare ourselves for big changes in our lives, hence the title of today's post.  I did this when I went into labor with my son, nearly 10 years ago.  I was gingerly mopping the kitchen floor when mother nature decided she had other plans.

In preparation for my surgery I have been doing some shopping, mostly on Amazon.  My pantry is now stocked with 2 lbs of protein powder, a case of Ensure Clear, calcium chews, fitness water mix (turns ordinary water into electrolyte water), 1 lb unflavored protein powder, fiber, and a blender bottle (1 of 2).  Tomorrow I'm expecting delivery of liquid calcium with D3 since I won't be allowed to have the chews for my first several weeks.  I also have sub-lingual B complex in the medicine cabinet.  I'm getting there!  This weekend, maybe, I'll start shopping for my pre and post op items such as canned tuna, chicken breast, broths, Jell-o, etc.  I did buy a Ninja this weekend to blend my protein shakes and puree my soups and foods when I start eating those things again.  Thankfully the protein power I bought blends pretty well in the blender bottles so it will be easy on the go.  I think the Ninja will be nice for milk based drinks or when I want to add ice for milkshake types.  YUM!

I will start my pre-op diet 2 weeks from tomorrow and my surgery is 4 weeks from Thursday.  Whoa. I can remember feeling like it was SO far away and now it's nearly here.


Grape koolaid?

For the record, grape protein powder does NOT taste like grape koolaid despite what the reviews say. It tasted like grape flavored protein lol. It's tolerable, but a little different that I'd expected. Along with that, I ordered unflavored powder and Ensure clear for post surgery.  I'm gearing up and stocking the pantry for pre and post op so I'm not trying to do it all last minute. The last thing I'm deciding on is whether to invest in the Ninja or just get something smaller like the bullet. Ah, decisions. 

It'll be here before I know it. I'm looking forward to it but I'm nervous about the drastic changes as well.  My first mourning of food will come on the pre-op diet because I'll be on it during Thanksgiving.  Gotta start somewhere!

I'm on this kick where I refuse to buy clothes. Since I plan on dropping weight I can't justify spending money.  If I absolutely have to, I'll break down and hit the thrift store. On the other side, I don't want to buy clothes that I will wear later because I don't want to jinx myself. I'd rather wait until I need them. In the end I hope to be a size 8, but I have no idea if that's realistic or if that's where I'll end up. Exciting and scary at the same time. 


Getting there...

My last appointment went well; I picked up an elliptical machine which my surgeon was glad to hear.  He was pretty happy that there are no clothes hanging from it either!  We set my final appointment and pre-op for Nov 8th.  At that time we'll submit my paperwork to insurance and go over the surgery details.  We're aiming for a surgery date of Dec 5.  Whoa.  I'm so close!  I have my pre-op diet checklist and the list of foods I'm allowed to eat for the first few weeks so I need to get my shopping done.  I'll be buying tons of canned tuna, chicken breast, turkey breast, and fish to get me through my pre-op!  I was kind of hoping to have surgery before Thanksgiving so I'm not tempted to cheat while on my pre-op but no such luck.  I've got this!

I did talk with the nutritionist and she told me that I'll be ok with a multivitamin and should supplement with a B12.  So there's another item to add to my list.  I may just pick up a Bullet for now to blend my shakes.  I'd like a Ninja but I'm having trouble justifying the cost.  My goal is to buy a house in the next 6 mos so I'm trying to save money where I can.

Two months... amazing.  It'll be here before I know it!



My trip to Detroit was amazing!  The weather was lovely & the presence of team members in downtown is overwhelming.  It's hard to describe it & until one witnesses it firsthand it's incomprehensible.  I was lucky to go with 3 team members that I get along with very well so we had a great time!  While I was there I got a call from my Ops Director letting me know she pushed my promotion through & I'm officially a Team Captain.  Woo!  It feels great to be recognized for hard work.

I have my next appointment Oct 8.  After that we'll set my final appointment and maybe start discussing surgery dates.  After my Nov appointment we can submit to insurance!  The front office staff recommended talking to the surgeon about getting a tentative date set so I can begin my pre-op right after the Nov appointment in hopes of having surgery prior to Thanksgiving.  Otherwise I'll be looking at early Dec.  I'm really hoping for Nov.  It feels like forever but at the same time I can't believe it's nearly here!

I still need to order my protein sampler, get a decent blender, and get an elliptical.  Of course now that it's cooler walking won't be so bad but I do like the idea of having an elliptical readily available.  I'm also on the lookout for a decent multi vitamin + calcium.  I've decided to go with the sleeve & I know these are uber important to avoid deficiencies.  Also, B12.  Does anyone have recommendations?


10. Things. Thursday.

1) I am still here; I have not gone away or died.  I am not in a coma.
2) I started school for the semester so my evenings are spent working on assignments for my 2 online classes: COM100 and CIS110.  Both are fairly simple classes but homework still blows.
3) Last week my sweetie, the kid, and I went to Knott's Berry Farm for a much needed vacation.  We spent Thursday & Friday between the park & the water park (Soak City).  Saturday was just too crowded so we had a lazy day at the hotel pool/spa.  Sunday we hit the beach for a couple of hours before heading home.  Then it was back to work on Tuesday.  Boo!
4) I'm coming up on my 4th (or maybe 5th) nutrition appointment on Tuesday.  I need to call my insurance company to see if they'll count my initial visit as 1 or not.  Hopefully we'll start talking surgery dates & pre-op stuff soon.
5) No promotion at work just yet but I feel it coming soon.  My team lead / director has me running around like crazy, planning training sessions, meetings, etc.  I had my annual review which went really well.
6) I get to go to Detroit for work on 9/16 to see how things are done there with the big boys (our head quarters are there).  Plus our founder owns the casino there so I get to stay in a fancy suite & play roulette all night if I want.
7) I have sucked at walking the past 2 weeks.  I'm just so damn tired (I know, always an excuse).  I've gotta find a way to make more time.  Something has to give.
8) I've become fixated with planning a trip for next summer; my goal is somewhere warm & tropical so I'm hoping for Hawaii.  Maybe I'll be 50+ lighter by then!
9) I have a new daily driver so I can wheel my Jeep without worrying too much about breakage.  My sweetie bought it from an older couple through his shop for $450!
10) My $6 ticket did not get dismissed; the judge continued the hearing to Oct 22.  Silliness.

I have so much reading to catch up on!  I hope everyone is well.


My name is Dotti & I'm a (blog) slacker.

Life has been HECTIC, to say the least.

Last weekend's wheeling trip was a lot of fun & a great success.  We raised $3,000 total for our charities, the weather was nice, and the trail was kind to us.

The past 2 weeks at work have been insane.  I've been in a new role since May 1 (essentially QA) where my objective is to monitor calls for team members.  This is a new role in AZ so I have a lot of freedom in how I'd like it to go.  My counterpart, whom I'm not terribly fond of, was promoted to Team Captain.  That in itself was a huge blow; myself & many others (whom have all voiced their opinions) were shocked about the choice but I was informed later that I'm meant for bigger & better things.  We'll see...

Anyhoots, I've been running around the past 2 weeks because 2 team members were moved to "my" team & I've been given the task of training them.  In the process I will be reviewing calls for another team so I'm trying to "fix" some things I've come across.  It's a good thing innovation is rewarded here!

My daily challenge (#operationactive365) is going fairly well.  I've missed a day here & there but have been doing pretty good about walking.  I've got my handy dandy FitBit to help motive me towards 10,000 steps per day.

My 4th nutrition appointment is coming up Aug 13 and I'm kind of nervous.  My surgeon told me to lose 5-10lb.  The nutritionist said more like 5-8 to stay "safe".  I'm not sure I've accomplished that, again.  So my eating hasn't been superb but I've improved greatly on the exercise front.  I guess I could fib, but I tend to let it all out when the doc asks me.  Should be interesting...

I hope all is well with everyone; I've got some catching up to do on my reading list!


I'm going wheelin'!

Whew, this week has been busy!  I lost track from Wednesday to today...  I've been a busy bee at work, training 2 newbies to my team.  In addition to that I suffered a small blow to my self esteem when one of my team members was promoted to team captain.  I was shocked, actually.  I've made my career goals here very clear: I want a leadership role.  I've been expressing these objectives from the day I started.  Not only have I stated what I want, I've demonstrated my abilities to excel.  So yeah, it was a tough pill to swallow. Although it was nice when the DVP mentioned that my qualities are far greater than the position that was offered to my counterpart & that for me she's looking at a bigger picture.  I hope that's true.  

End of pity party rant.

This weekend is the 2nd annual charity run to Crown King for the Jeep club.  We take a 4x4 trail from the back of Lake Pleasant up to a cute little town in the pines.  The trail takes about 4-5 hours & we have 60+ rigs signed up.  Not to shabby for a club that only has 15 or so active members!  The proceeds are benefiting 2 charities: the Granite Mountain Hotshots & Project H3 which helps homeless vets get off the streets.  We're also hosting a separate raffle & 100% of the proceeds are going to Baby Rose, one of the Hotshots' unborn baby.  So we wheel all day then hang out at the bar in Crown King among friends. Afterward we'll camp then come back down Sunday.  I'm really looking forward to it but I'm also nervous at the same time.  I drive a manual & it's the first I've ever had.  I started wheelin' just over a year ago but I learned on an automatic.  It'll be interesting, especially if the rain keeps up & we're trolling through mud.  I'll be sure to share pictures.  Btw, that's my Jeep!

I've been keeping up pretty well with my walking.  I did skip Wednesday this week because I was just so tired & couldn't wake up!  That night I went to Four Peaks to have a beer with my friend for her birthday.  I may not walk today either; again I was super tired this morning after having bad dreams all night.  Tonight I won't have time since we'll be getting everything ready for tomorrow.  We have to be at our meeting spot by 8:00.  I'm not sure if I've lost or maintained.  I didn't really pay attention to my weight on the day of my last nutrition appointment so I'm just going to wait until my next one to see what the scale says.  My eating has been okay; I bought My Fit Foods this week & have been eating them for breakfast & lunch, except yesterday I ate from our potluck.  My next appointment is Aug 13, then I only have 2 left before it can be submitted to insurance!  I guess I should really acquaint myself with a new PCP so I can get my letter done.

Back to work!  Happy Friday, everyone.


Somebody has a case of the Monday (eves)...

My IV bruise is looking darker as it heals but it's no longer sore.  And I'm not excited about going back to work tomorrow.  Weekends never feel long enough.

I decided to try yoga on Saturday morning.  I recorded some shows I found on DirecTV.  That lasted all of 10 minutes!  It was really tough as a beginner.  The workouts I'd recorded weren't really for beginners & it was hard to do the poses while watching to see if I was getting them right.  So, after I picked up my Bountiful Basket I came home & did 45 minutes on the XBox Kinect.  Go me!  

My surgery center has a Facebook forum.  One of the girls has started a fitness challenge called #operationactive365.  So I've been working at it & today marks my 5th day.  I also ordered a FitBit to keep track of my steps just like Dr. D recommended.  Hopefully these efforts will get me to my 5-8 lb loss he wants to see from me.  Plus, I feel good about it & am actually excited to keep up with it every day.

My next nutrition appointment is August 13th.  So close, yet still so far.  I am happy to say that I'm halfway through this process.  That's a nice thought!



1.  I had my psych eval, ultrasound and EGD today.  I think the psych eval went well considering they didn't cart me away in a straight jacket.

2.  The EGD taught me to never let anyone aside from the anesthesiologist attempt to insert an IV.  I have 4 battle scars to support that!

3.  General anesthesia makes me talk A LOT.  I chatted with everyone.

4.  McDonald's never tasted so good after fasting for half a day.

5.  I have a small hiatal hernia.  The doc said this is no big deal & it can be repaired with 1-2 stitches.

6.  I ordered my FitBit yesterday & it arrived today!  If you have one & want to be on my friends list let me know.  It's just the cutest little thing I've ever seen!

7.  Yesterday I pulled my happy butt out of bed & walked 30 minutes.  I did not do that today, however, because I wasn't allowed to drink anything.  Even at 5:30AM it's still 85º here!

8.  I had my 3rd nutrition appointment on Tuesday.  I did not lose but I did maintain.  My surgeon insisted I step it up, literally.  He told me get a pedometer or use a phone app & get in 10,000 steps per day.  (refer to #6)

9.  I've been dealing with sick pups all week long so I haven't been getting great sleep.

10.  I think I'm going to take a nap (see #9)

I hope everyone is doing well.  Ooooh sidenote, I got to meet my FIRST blog follower on Tuesday at the doctor's office.  She just happened to be in for a fill.  :)



1.)  That's how many days since my last post.  Every day few days I thought about blogging but I just didn't have much to say or was just too tired.  This past week has been hectic.  

2.)  Sunday we drove to Wickenburg to drop off donations for the fire evacuees.  We stayed there to watch the funeral procession for the 19 fallen firefighters.  Talk about sullen...
The support of the locals along the roadside from Phoenix all the way to Wickenburg & beyond was amazing & heart wrenching at the same time.

3.)  Tuesday night we had an awards ceremony at work so most of the "work" day was spent primping & prepping for that since we didn't get off early to have time to prepare.  It was quite an affair, held at the Scottsdale Princess resort.  Although, the big dudes in Detroit should really try to remember that it reaches 150,000° here in July.  Needless to say I felt like a sweaty mess but it was fun to dress up.  One of the girls here does hair/makeup so she did a super cute pin up style for me.  I wore a green dress with white polka dots (yep, that's how I roll) along with brown strappy sandals.  I didn't win any awards but it was still fun to dress up.  I'm lucky enough to work with my BFF so we got to be girly together that day.

4.)  Yesterday we had ISMs day at work (ISMs are the principles we live by here at work).  200+ team members & affiliates hung out at Westworld, stuffing our faces with breakfast, lunch & snacks all day while our CEO spoke about our culture, beliefs & why we're such an awesome company.  I love my job!

So today it's back to business.  Time to refocus.

5.)  I haven't been making great food choices lately.  I didn't order Bountiful Baskets this week or last.  Last week I ended up throwing several things away that went bad before we used them & this week I just ran out of time.  Aunt Flo should be arriving shortly so that hasn't helped spark my desire for nutritious, wholesome foods either.

6.)  I'm hoping to have enough leftover cash with this paycheck to pick up an elliptical machine.  It's WAY too hot to walk, even in the morning.  The humidity lately has been ridiculous, too.  Yeah, 51% humidity may not seem like a lot to some of you but for us Phoenicians used to "dry heat" this is INSANITY.

7.)  My 3rd nutrition appointment is on Tuesday then I have my ultrasound, EGD and psych appointments on Thursday.  Wow (nearly) 3 down with 3 to go.  I know when school starts it will go by even faster which is nice.  

8.)  I actually feel worse lately.  My body aches, I've been waking up more because I "snore" myself awake - I'm told this is due to the sleep apnea, something I would have never known.  It just seems like this can't come soon enough!

9.)  I forgot this was TTT until this point so I just went back & numbered my paragraphs!

10.)  John & I figured out our vacation plans: we're going to Knott's Berry Farm at the end of August.  It'll be so much fun!


Weekend Recap

I can't believe it's July already; time flies!  I've been lacking in posts the past few days, just not much time or desire, really.

Saturday I picked up my BB then went back to bed for a while.  Later, my biff & I went to get tattoos, while we were killing time we decided to also get piercings.  I guess that's what happens when you have an hour to waste in a tattoo parlor.  Sunday John & I slept in for a first time in a while then went to a club meeting for our Jeep/offroad "family".  We have an event coming up this month that we're finalizing planning for.  We're raising funds for the victims' families of those who died this past weekend in the Yarnell Hill Fire.  Originally funds were being donated to a veteran's organization but we, along with the organization's coordinator, have decided to reallocate the funds.  Yesterday my biff & I decided to organize a donation drop off that we'll take up this week, too.  So we're working with team members at work to collect items needed at the shelter(s).  

Today I stayed home with my kiddo.  He's been coughing & has bumps on his skin so I took him to see the doc.  Apparently it's just really severe allergies & dry skin so he's on Zyrtec, Flonase, and I have to lather him up every night with a heavy moisturizer.  Super fun!  I just hope these things make him feel better - poor kiddo.  So we had a mother-son day; we went to lunch & then out for frozen yogurt.

My BB had swiss chard & bok choy this week.  I've never cooked with either.  Tonight for dinner we had salmon with quinoa (also a first) and swiss chard.  It was good!  I mean, quinoa is a bit bland so I'll need to spice it up more next time but I do like it - it reminds me of cous cous.  The swiss chard cooks like spinach, I cooked it with a tiny bit of balsamic vinegar & water.  Not too shabby.  Tomorrow night I'll use the bok choy in some stir fry.

Anyway, that's about all for now.  Still haven't been walking (it's 150º out!).  I'm still debating on whether to get an elliptical or join the gym.  I'm thinking elliptical, that way I don't have to worry about kids club for my kiddo (hours, extra moolah).

Ok, really signing off for now.  Goodnight lovelies!


Friday and stuff

Already Friday?  Wow.  My work week hasn't been terribly productive because I've been dealing with the dreaded ticket.  I've prepared a legal pleading requesting dismissal, complete with exhibits, and a court order.  I sent it all to the Judge today so hopefully he'll dismiss the silly thing.  I figure either it'll piss him off & he'll fine me the max or he'll be super impressed & offer me a job!  LOL  I am pretty proud of it though & it kind of makes me miss working in the legal field.  I also got a chance to work on an escalated call yesterday.  A client made a complaint, which we take very seriously, and I was able to research it a bit which was interesting.  On top of that my leader reviewed my self-assessment for my annual review & agreed with everything I rated myself on which means I'll be receiving a raise - Woo!

I have not been on track this week with my foods, not really.  Monday was an excuse, but the rest of the week went to crap.  Tuesday I had good intentions & started off decently.  We ended up at Chikfila for lunch, I didn't do terrible but I did get fries.  That night we had cheese quesadillas for dinner.  Granted, they were homemade so probably not as bad as a restaurant would be but still not super great either.  Wednesday I don't even remember what I had for lunch, but we had turkey burgers for dinner.  Yesterday I overdid it with a burger at lunch, fajitas for dinner (homemade) but I finished it off with a bowl of ice cream.  Needless to say my stomach hurt last night from the dairy intake this week.

I have no one to blame but myself.  I can't even say my friends enticed me.  It was all me.  I really have to break this cycle.  

There really isn't anything exciting happening.  I get another Bountiful Basket tomorrow.  I was please with this week's assortment but some of the fruits didn't last at all so I ended up throwing some things away.  I'm hoping tomorrow will be better.  I may switch back to organic.  I always heard organic doesn't have as long a shelf life but this week proved otherwise.

Have a good weekend everyone!  I'll be trying to find a way to stay cool - it's supposed to reach 118° this weekend!


Smooth Criminal

Where do I begin?
Sunday we went to the lake & had a good day, mostly.  Late in the day the Maricopa County sheriff's deputy approached our group apparently looking for our day use passes.  Wait, what?  We were in a primitive area behind the lake, no facilities & there's a fee?  Ok fine, so then I ask if I can pay the fee (which is $6, btw).  No, no that wouldn't be fair to the others' who received violations along the water that day.  He proceeds to write me a ticket, a criminal freaking ticket!  So I can't even just pay the fine, no I have to take a day off work to go to court & see the judge.  What an ass.  On top of that he couldn't even tell me where the pay stations for the area are located.  Even more so, on the way out there were 2 vehicles parked in a dirt lot clearly marked "No staging" (this means you can't leave your vehicle/trailer unattended there while you go out on the trails with ATVs, etc).  Did they have passes?  Nope.  Did they have tickets on their windshields?  Nope, a simple orange warning sticker from the same officer stating "this is not a citation".  What?!  It wouldn't be fair to NOT write me a ticket yet he can justify not writing these law breakers one?  I'm not pleased, to say the least.
That set off a chain of events that made for quite a night.  John & I got into a fight that was pretty bad so we were up late.  Yesterday I was emotionally hungover so I decided I needed a comfort food day.  I ate anything & everything I wanted.  We did make up & everything is ok now.
Today I'm feeling a bit better, still tired though.  I had a weird dream that woke me early gasping for air.  It was strange.  My EGD/ultrasound/psych have been rescheduled to July 18.  My insurance company won't cover procedures at my surgeon's surgical center so we had to move it to a facility with emergency services.  My next nutrition appointment is that Tuesday so it'll be a busy week.  I'm just glad they re-ran my insurance now & not after the procedure.  Silver lining!
Ok I feel like today I'm just being a whiner so I'll end it here.  Happy Tuesday!


Pants are overrated

Just when the scale is on my side, making me happy & validating my hard work on my diet I go to put on my size 18 jeans out of the dryer.  Stupid pants.  I'm wearing them today, don't get my wrong, but I fully expected 5 lbs to make a different.  Isn't it funny how we GAIN 5 lbs & suddenly our wardrobe feels like it belongs to a size 4 model but we lose 5 lb & it makes no difference?  Stupid pants. 
On another note, happy Friday everyone!  I am picking up my 2nd Bountiful Basket tomorrow & am looking forward to it.  I've really enjoyed cooking this week, knowing I'm filling our bellies with good food rather than the junk food we were eating nightly in the not too distant past.  Afterward I may wash my Jeep or I may crawl back into bed & sleep!  I'll see how that goes. 
Sunday we're headed to the lake with friends.  This is a common occurrence in the summertime as we don't have a pool anymore & it's insanely hot outside.
I'll keep this short & sweet.  Have a great weekend!
Ooh don't forget to check this out:
The Super Moon...
This year's largest and closest "Super Moon" will occur this Sunday (June 23, 2013.)

This super full moon is not only the closest and largest full moon of the year, it also presents the moon's closest encounter with Earth in a long time. So get outside and enjoy the view... Just watch out for werewolves!


It's getting creative up in here

  1. I've cooked dinner at home every night since last week.  I am proud of myself as this is a pretty huge accomplishment.  Tonight's menu included chicken scampi over rice with a salad made of romaine, apples, carrots, raisins & poppy seed dressing.
  2. I kicked butt at work today; my production was my highest yet & I reviewed 30 calls.
  3. I've consistently kept track of my meals on MyFitnessPal & stayed at or under my calorie goals.
  4. My bonus this month is shockingly large, so much that I approached the DVP to ensure it's accurate.  She was so thrilled with my honesty that she said even if it's wrong (which I'm positive it is) she's not going to correct it.  Woo!
  5. I was so worried about being broke after surgery because I won't have any paid time off but now my worries are gone (refer to #4).
  6. I signed up for 2 online classes this Fall.  I've decided to pursue a degree in dietetics (nutrition).  Yet another reason I need to be skinny; who would trust a fat dietitian?  lol
  7. I never did change my oil last week so it'll have to wait until I get paid.  But I may actually wash my Jeep this weekend (gasp!)
  8. Tonight we watched Destination America about the Grand Canyon.  I've decided that I'll hike it someday.  Havasupai Falls is AMAZING.  Plus, my mother hiked it the first time at around age 50 so I can totally make this happen.
  9. My EGD, ultrasound, and psych eval are a week from tomorrow.  My mom was supposed to take me but now my BFF is taking the day off to go with me.  I'm so grateful for her support.
  10. John & I are trying to decide where we're going on vacation this year.  Last year we took the coastline up to OR to see his family/friends.  This year we're not sure.  We talked about Knott's Berry Farm; none of us have been.
For some reason I've been exhausted lately, I think the heat is taking it's toll.  I've been ready to crash by 9p every night!  On that note, I'm off.  Until tomorrow!


My Scale Loves Me

According to my scale I've lost 5 lbs.  Woo!
I have not been walking as planned; it's just way too hot!  But I'm rocking it at staying on point with my eating.  I'm tracking my food religiously on MFP; John giggles at me every time.  I've cooked dinner at home every night for over a week.  I'm super proud of myself.  I think that it helps me stay on track more when I make sure the kitchen is cleaned every night after dinner.  It may sound silly to some of you, but I'm notorious for leaving dishes in the sink or on the stove & then not wanting to cook because I have to clean the kitchen first. 

I've refocused my attention on the reasons I'm losing, rather than just obsessing about what is on the scale.  Some of the reasons are: 
  • I want to be healthy for my son so I can see him grow & keep up with him now.
  • I want to avoid the imminent health issues if I stay heavy.  Diabetes & heart disease run in my family.
  • I like the way I feel when I eat well.  I actually feel better.  Plus, I love feeding my family good food vs. fast food/junk.
As I type this I'm fairly certain I've touched on these goals/reasons before, but it's important to recap & remind myself.
Last night I made dairy free beef stroganoff for dinner.  It was really tasty & only 374 calories including the rice.  Even John said the recipe is a keeper, and the kid liked it too.  He wasn't too happy about the steamed green beans, but he ate them anyway.

I signed up for my 2nd Bountiful Basket & I'm excited to see what's inside.  I still have some fruit & a few veggies left from the one I got Saturday but the corn is all gone.  I love this program!  I went to Trader Joe's last night to pick up some protein to go with my veggies: salmon, chicken sausage/brats, chicken breasts, turkey burgers.  I've rekindled my love for cooking, me thinks.

I guess I should get back to work.  Have a great day everyone!


My Uterus is Evil

Welp, I left work early today because of my pelvic pain.  This is getting to be a monthly occurrence.  Ever since I had my Mirena removed last year my cycle has become increasingly more painful.  I'm certain there is scarring in there from when the sadistic doctor yanked (yes, yanked) it from my insides, knowing it was embedded in the c-section scar tissue.  Oy vay!  Sorry for the gory details.  Anyhoo, since then I've reverted back to the gut wrenching pain I experienced as a teen.  My mother is convinced it's endometriosis and I can't say I disagree.  

I slept the afternoon away & woke up feeling a bit better.  I was able to get the kiddo & start making dinner at a reasonable hour so that was nice.  Working until 6:00 does suck, sometimes.  Dinner tonight consisted of ribeye on the Cuisinart (a much better 2nd attempt), oven roasted corn on the cob, garlic rosemary potatoes, and baked beans for the guys.  Sorry for the food porn, but I do like to share!  Is it technically food porn if it's healthy?  I think maybe not.

So I'm not sure what my "starting weight" was at home, exactly but I think it was around 250.  As of this morning I'm at 246.2 according to my new scale.  I'm happy with my progress & looking forward to seeing what the scale at the doctor's office says.

My EGD, psych exam, and ultrasound are coming up a week from Friday.  After that I just have to see my new PCP to get a letter of clearance/recommendation & finish my nutrition appointments then I'm all done!  Hopefully time goes by quickly!

That's all for now, have a good night!


Weekend Recap

As I started thinking about what I want to write tonight my ex texts me to thank our son for the card then proceeds to give me crap about not having him call to wish him a Happy Father's Day.  Really?  I'm pretty sure the phone works both ways.  It is not my job to facilitate a relationship between him & his son, that is his job.  Furthermore, I have a life too which no longer revolves around him.  He's trying to guilt me.  So I tell my kiddo his dad is upset that he didn't call today.  My son takes the phone into his room & leaves a message telling him why he didn't call (we were out in the Jeep today) then ends with telling him he owes me an apology!  What?  My 9 year old son RULES.  Of course I get another text about how important he feels, etc.  Grow up, seriously.

End of rant.

Yesterday was a good day.  I took my friend's 15 yr old daughter out for girls' day (and my son, lol).  We got mani/pedis, went to lunch, then the mall.  I spent an obscene amount of money, but she absolutely needed time out of the house so it was worth it.  After our day out I arrived home to see that my Amazon goodies had arrived.  I was like a kid on Christmas.  I broke out the scale & the Cuisinart grill already.  I used the grill for dinner last night: ribeye, corn on the cob & grilled zucchini.  Yum!  Ok so the steak was overcooked & mostly like shoe leather but the rest was divine.

Btw, the veggies came from my Bountiful Basket which I am very pleased with.  My box contained mangoes, apples, oranges, plums, avocado, garlic, onion, corn on the cob, baby carrots, and romaine.  I will definitely be ordering again.  

Tonight I made a skillet meal that I got from Costco.  It's a Birds Eye chicken dijon with veggies.  Only 180 calories per 1 cup serving & really tasty.  Even the kiddo liked it!  Along with it we had steamed carrots & corn on the cob.  I'm really on a roll with cooking at home & getting my veggies in.  Speaking of which, my food tracking has been going really well & I've been under my calorie goal on most days, I think I went over once.

Today we took the Jeep out with our club.  We went up to a trail just outside of Jerome, in an attempt to get out of the heat!  It was a nice run & as always we had a great time with our extended family.  The trail is called Smiley Rock because of a huge boulder that has a smiley face on it.

On that note I'm off to bed.  Good night my lovelies!


Food Friday (apparently)

Panda Express is screaming at me from the conference room next to my desk.  They brought in lunch today for the entire floor - about a weekly occurrence here.  But I'm resisting.  Yep.  My stomach is nearly doing somersaults over here, yelling out "I'm doing flips, feed me!  Hey!  Hello!?"  It's pure food torture (see photo).
But I'm not going to do it.  Nope.  Instead my friends & I are going to Rubio's.  I've scouted the menu for calories, fats, sodium & predetermined my meal.  I have a plan.  Whoa.  Insert applause here.  This is kind of a big deal.
I'm doing well, food wise.  I've been at/under my calorie goal all week & resisted temptations left & right.  We've had lunch brought in at least 2x this week, there's been birthday cake, and the ever present popcorn & slushies that live in the breakroom.  Oh wait, I did indulge a bit in the leftover Oreos in my desk drawer but there were only 3, exactly 1 serving, and it was really just enough.  I'm not sure why I needed to eat the entire bag/roll in the past when 1 serving is plenty.
I've been online shopping this week; Amazon loves me.  I bought an indoor grill/panini press, a new bathroom scale, a pressure cooker, a protein mixer bottle, and some new cases for my phone.  Which, btw finally shipped today!  I'm also in the market for an elliptical.  My work will pay me back $100 of the purchase price so that's pretty awesome. 
Oh forgot to mention that I tried Rice Dream frozen dessert as a substitute for ice cream.  It's not too bad actually, different texture than ice cream in that you can't really let it melt on your tongue because it's not as smooth.  Hard to explain.  I also bought Soy Dream, but I haven't tried that yet.  I'm just happy to have alternatives that I'm able to stomach.  I love ice cream so I was worried, truly.
In other news, my best bud (whom I'm lucky enough to also work with) spilled salsa on her pants.  She now reminds me of the kid in Superbad after dancing with the girl at the party.  If you haven't seen it, you should.  It's funny & mindless, a good Friday night cocktail & friends kind of movie.
On that note, I'm going back to my delicious lunch!  Happy Friday my dears!


Happy Thursday!

1) The guy who sits in the desk behind me eats like a cow chewing his cud.  I shall call him Chompie McChomperson.
2) My lunch today is delicious!  I'm having a turkey sandwich on a multi grain round flatbread with jalapeno & cilantro hummus and soy cheese.  On the side:  grape tomatoes & carrots with more hummus and jicama.  Nom.
3) Last night I was Susy Homemaker.  I made mashed potatoes & corn to go with my crockpot chicken.  It was tasty!  And, I even washed the dishes & cleaned the kitchen.  That's a big step for me as my dishes usually sit in the sink for extended periods of time.
4) I've decided that I love shopping at Trader Joe's.  I miss Fresh & Easy (they closed the one near me) so this is a great alternative & on my way home.
5) My lapband friend said I can ask her anything I want but since I've had you ladies I can't think of anything to ask that I haven't already learned about through you all!
6) I still didn't pull myself out of bed this morning to walk. 
7) I'm going swimming tonight with a friend so we can both exercise.
8) My thighs are rubbing holes in my favorite jeans.  I can't wait until this is no longer an issue!
9) My son has been with his dad for the past week & he comes home tomorrow.  I miss him so much!
10) My Jeep needs work so I'll be playing little miss grease monkey this weekend & changing my oil, like a boss!  Did I mention it will be 150° by 9:00 am?


Booty shaking happy dance

I just found out a dear friend of mine, whom I haven't been the greatest at keeping in touch with, just had band surgery on 6/6!  She reached out to me today to talk about job stuff & just let it slip.  She isn't telling too many people but I'm so glad she shared it with me.  I was so excited to tell her that I'm on my journey, too.  She started in January with the same place I tried before (also in January).  She's about 10lbs down already & feeling good, just tired.  This is super exciting!  I know I have you ladies' blogs, etc but it's a bit different to have someone you know in real life also going through it.  This is why I need to meet my AZ ladies! 
Side note, lunch again today was tasty!  I polished off the other 1/2 of my eggplant wrap with some veggies & hummus.  It could use a bit more protein though, maybe I'll add a boiled egg.

Oh, it has been brought to my attention that people are not able to post comments to my blog.  I think I've corrected the issue. 
Ok, back to Amazon shopping work!

I AM a rockstar, mostly

Happy Wednesday!
I made good choices yesterday, even allowed myself a small cheat & still finished the day way under my calorie goal.  No worries, I didn't starve, not even a little.  I calculated my BMR (basal metabolic rate) to determine what I need to just survive, as if I were a potato.  Then I figured out my calorie needs based on my activity level (sedentary, truly).  From there I subtracted 500/day to create a deficit of 3,500 per week which is needed to lose 1 lb each week.  That puts me around 2,000/day.  Here's where I ended up:

Ok, ok so I went overboard on salt (thank you, Chinese food) and sugars... I had canteloupe, my protein shake, and a half of a Moon Pie for dessert so they didn't help.  But I rocked everything else!  My best friend, Becca, and I went to Trader Joe's yesterday & bought stuff for lunches/snacks.  I love
eating healthy, my problem is the convenience of the drive through.  I am not good about grocery shopping and/or preparing such as chopping veggies, etc before they all go bad.  Saturday will be a test for me when I get my Bountiful Basket.  Since I'll be up so early anyway I'm planning to get everything prepped right then.
Now let's talk about this morning.  My alarm went off at 6:15 but I had woken up around 5:45 then dozed off and on, contemplating going out for a walk.  Did I go?  Nope.  Instead I laid there until nearly 6:30 dreading getting up.  I love sleep.  I love my bed.  I love laying there in the morning with John.  Gah!  Tomorrow is another day.  I did, however, have enough time to throw some chicken into the crockpot so I can cook dinner at home tonight.  This is a huge deal considering for the past 6 months I have only cooked maybe 1x week at home.
One day at a time...


Lunch, son!

I wanted to share... lunch was tasty today!  In case you're wondering, that's a pressed eggplant wrap from Trader Joe's (no tahini dressing), mixed veggies with jalapeno/cilantro hummus, jicama & a dill pickle spear.  Nom!

Listen all of ya'll, it's a sabotage!

Don't mind my Beastie Boys reference ( sorry that's in your head now)... but truly I'm in that self sabotage mode.  I start my days out pretty decent but the afternoon/evening comes & it's a pig fest.  I definitely got in my protein yesterday so that's a plus, but I went over on calories, fat & sugars.  This is a daily battle that I'm eventually going to win.  Oh and the 150° weather isn't helping my case for exercise (walking) either. 
What's this?  Another excuse... yeah, that happened. 
So tomorrow my goal is to pull my butt out of bed 30 min early to get my walking done.  This is something I have to do, it's good for me!  Why is it is so hard to motivate ourselves to do good things for our bodies?  It should be super easy because in the end we always feel better.  It just doesn't make sense.  I keep telling myself "I have time, my surgery (maybe) isn't until late this year.  Yeah that's my procrastinating self jumping in.  I need to shut that bitch up!
Today is a new day.  I'm determined to stay on track - all day - and get some sort of movement in.  Maybe I'll walk circles around the office.  We do have a parking garage I can walk at lunch so it's not directly in the scorching sun.  I will figure it out.  I will get my ass in gear!
On a side note, I did sign up for a Bountiful Basket yesterday.  I'm really excited to pick it up on Saturday, despite the fact that I have to pull myself out of bed early.  Hey, I guess I'll be up early enough to walk, huh?  I love fruits/vegetables but my downfall is that I don't prep them so they tend to go bad.  My goal is to cook more at home & I am hoping that having so many choices on hand will help.  Baby steps, right?
Oh I bought a Kindle book on Amazon the other day:  Living with the Band by Victoria Ashton.  It's a good read so far.  She tells her story of abuse & her struggle with her weight as an adult.  I'll keep you posted; I think I can share copies if anyone is interested.  Has anyone else read good books about those with the band?  I really enjoy reading others' stories, hence the blogs.  It's motivational & helps give me an idea of what to expect, both the ups & downs.
Anyhoo, I better get some work done.  Happy Tuesday everyone!


This way or that way?

If you hadn't guessed, I'm a bit indecisive & maybe a tad OCD.  I guess I'd consider myself a
somewhat creative person so because of this I will likely change my blog layout many times before settling.  Although, I have a thing for stars so I may stick with this one.  Hopefully everyone can stick with me on this rollercoaster ride, meaning my weigh loss journey & my frequent blog makeovers.
Happy Friday everyone! 
I'm having trouble focusing today; I just can't get motivated at work.  I started a new position May 1st & it is less-than challenging, to say the least.  I do like what I do but I'm definitely ready for some variety in my life.  Wait, I'm sending a pattern here...
My kiddo is off to his dad's for the next week so I'll be enjoying some quiet time with my sweetie, John.  He works tomorrow so I'll have most of the day to myself which will be nice.  Although, usually by day 2-3 I'm missing my kiddo.  We're headed to the lake on Sunday, again, so that will be nice.
My BFF & I hit Costco yesterday for some water, protein shakes, and Clif bars.  This will help me to eat breakfast at work everyday instead of stopping on my way in.  The shakes will also be good for snacks since I'm supposed to get in a routine of eating 4x per day.  I won't talk about how my day ended yesterday, let's just say we went out to lunch & I likely consumed too many calories.  I did, however, swap my fries for a side salad so it's a start.  Also, half of my lunch ended up being dinner too so it's possible that I didn't do terribly bad. 
I guess this dairy thing is sort of a blessing in disguise.  Wait, hear me out... one of my leaders is getting pizza from Barro's today - one of my favorites - but since I can't have cheese it's a heck of a lot easier to turn it down.  Boom!  Silver lining.
Well my lovelies that's all the time I have for you today.  Make it a great one!


Baby Steps

I decided to start today.  My friend had me justifying in my head that it was ok to wait until Monday to get down to business on my goals but I know I need to start somewhere & today just makes sense: it's a clean slate.
So, I had myself talked out of stopping for breakfast & was planning to eat my oatmeal packets I have in my desk.  But I did end up in the drive thru after all.  I opted for a pineapple mango smoothie (no yogurt) & an egg white McMuffin (no cheese).  My breakfast total: 
Success!  The nutritionist recognizes that I'm busy & eat out often so she set a goal for me to make healthier choices & eat at least 1 meal at home per day.  It's a work in progress.  My son makes his lunch every morning so I may just have him start making mine too while I'm getting ready for work.
I'm tired today; we were out late last night so it was a struggle to get out of bed this morning.  I have to find my motivation to get up a little earlier since it's more feasible to get my walking done in the morning vs the scorching heat of the evenings.  I've been looking on Craigslist for an elliptical; I used to have one & I loved it.  I managed to get in 1 3/4 liters of water yesterday so not too shabby there.
I hope everyone has a good day!


2 down, 4 to go

I had my 2nd nutrition appointment today.  I took the opportunity to ask Dr. B some of the questions I had regarding band slippage & whether insurance covers any repairs or replacements to the band.  He explained that slippage is actually the stomach pouch stretching and then folding over around the band, not the actual band moving.  Some of you may have already known this, but I actually thought the band moved out of place.  He went on to tell me that if I follow the rules & don't push it by over eating which results in vomiting then everything should be fine.  He also let me know that if my insurance pays to put it in they'll pay for any issues that arise.  This gets to be more difficult if I change insurance companies.  He also told me a bit about their insurance plan which covers any/all band related issues down the road in the event I lose my insurance provider, etc.  It's nice to know I have options.  I spent last night researching the sleeve a bit more, trying to decide which I want to go with.  After talking to Dr. B today he made me feel better about the band.  I know everyone is different but it's nice to know that I can control how my body adjusts to the band, mostly, if I work it right.
Now onto the "fun" part of the visit.  The doc asked about my diet & exercise because I gained 2 lbs since my last visit.  I was completely honest:  I've been eating badly & haven't exercised because frankly I'm worried if I lose too much weight my insurance won't cover my band procedure.  He told me not to worry, they will cover it.  I have other issues of concern (sleep apnea, heart defect) that will help ensure I'm approved.  So on that note I have new directives for this month: increase my water intake, get in 150 minutes of exercise per week, and make better choices when I eat out.  The doctor wants me to lose 10 lbs. 
I really hate this waiting game.  I wish my insurance would just approve the band & not make me jump through hoops.  I mean in the long run sleep apnea & other weight induced issues are going to cost them more than the procedure.  And with my family history of heart disease & diabetes it's only a matter of time before my health issues start to get worse (if I stay this way).  Silly insurance company...
So, today I weighed in at 254.  My goal is to lose the 10lb before my next appointment on July 16th.  I've got this. 


Spandex & Motivation

I've outfatted my jeans.   
I broke down Saturday & headed to the thrift store to pick up some jeans/shorts that fit me.  It was a little tough to face, but I know this is only temporary & soon enough I'll be buying jeans because the ones I have are too BIG.  I did pick up a black summer dress that's a bit snug but I'll be able to wear it after I lose a few pounds.  It's strange really how much sizes can vary between brands.  I ended up with a 20W and a 22 in another brand.  I've never worn anything larger than a 19 (thank you LEI Junior plus).  I am at my heaviest point. 
I've been MIA the past few days; I just wasn't feeling it for some reason.  I wonder if I started my blog too early.  I'm trying to get approved for surgery so losing weight isn't my focus - the other pre-op checklist items are - so while everyone reading is working so hard to stay on track I'm stuffing my fat face 4x per day to get into the habit of breaking up meals.  My choices are poor for the most part (albeit dairy free!) because I'm afraid to lose & not be approved by insurance.  Oh what a strange "game" this is.  I certainly don't want to brag blog about what I eat.  So I guess I was just at a loss... no pun intended.  I'm trying not to focus too much on it because I feel like it's slowing time down.  Logically I know time isn't going any faster or slower based on where my mind is, but it sure seems that way.  So for now I'm trying to focus on work, family, and process how much my life is going to change while not obsessing about it.
Moving on...
Sunday we went to the lake with some friends.  It was a beautiful day - didn't even realize the 107° weather.  John took his new (to him) truck & even got to play in the mud.  We're hoping to head out again this weekend.  I'm definitely getting my tan going nicely this summer!
So I have started a mental list of items I'd like to purchase for my journey.  I'm captivated by the Ninja commercials.  My boyfriend has mentioned wanting one (he loves to cook) but knowing that I'll be on a liquid/soft food diet & drinking a ton of protein shakes I'm now on board.  I also want a new scale, maybe one that reads body fat.  Does anyone have suggestions on a decent & affordable product?  I bought my scale from Walmart a few years back & have been pleased with it but lately it's inconsistent.  I've changed the batteries but I just don't trust it.  I'm also considering a food scale.  After reading some blogs it seems it may prove useful.  So, my question is what "tools" do you feel are essential to this process?  Aside from the obvious: spandex & motivation.

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