Friday and stuff

Already Friday?  Wow.  My work week hasn't been terribly productive because I've been dealing with the dreaded ticket.  I've prepared a legal pleading requesting dismissal, complete with exhibits, and a court order.  I sent it all to the Judge today so hopefully he'll dismiss the silly thing.  I figure either it'll piss him off & he'll fine me the max or he'll be super impressed & offer me a job!  LOL  I am pretty proud of it though & it kind of makes me miss working in the legal field.  I also got a chance to work on an escalated call yesterday.  A client made a complaint, which we take very seriously, and I was able to research it a bit which was interesting.  On top of that my leader reviewed my self-assessment for my annual review & agreed with everything I rated myself on which means I'll be receiving a raise - Woo!

I have not been on track this week with my foods, not really.  Monday was an excuse, but the rest of the week went to crap.  Tuesday I had good intentions & started off decently.  We ended up at Chikfila for lunch, I didn't do terrible but I did get fries.  That night we had cheese quesadillas for dinner.  Granted, they were homemade so probably not as bad as a restaurant would be but still not super great either.  Wednesday I don't even remember what I had for lunch, but we had turkey burgers for dinner.  Yesterday I overdid it with a burger at lunch, fajitas for dinner (homemade) but I finished it off with a bowl of ice cream.  Needless to say my stomach hurt last night from the dairy intake this week.

I have no one to blame but myself.  I can't even say my friends enticed me.  It was all me.  I really have to break this cycle.  

There really isn't anything exciting happening.  I get another Bountiful Basket tomorrow.  I was please with this week's assortment but some of the fruits didn't last at all so I ended up throwing some things away.  I'm hoping tomorrow will be better.  I may switch back to organic.  I always heard organic doesn't have as long a shelf life but this week proved otherwise.

Have a good weekend everyone!  I'll be trying to find a way to stay cool - it's supposed to reach 118° this weekend!

Smooth Criminal

Where do I begin?

 

Sunday we went to the lake & had a good day, mostly.  Late in the day the Maricopa County sheriff's deputy approached our group apparently looking for our day use passes.  Wait, what?  We were in a primitive area behind the lake, no facilities & there's a fee?  Ok fine, so then I ask if I can pay the fee (which is $6, btw).  No, no that wouldn't be fair to the others' who received violations along the water that day.  He proceeds to write me a ticket, a criminal freaking ticket!  So I can't even just pay the fine, no I have to take a day off work to go to court & see the judge.  What an ass.  On top of that he couldn't even tell me where the pay stations for the area are located.  Even more so, on the way out there were 2 vehicles parked in a dirt lot clearly marked "No staging" (this means you can't leave your vehicle/trailer unattended there while you go out on the trails with ATVs, etc).  Did they have passes?  Nope.  Did they have tickets on their windshields?  Nope, a simple orange warning sticker from the same officer stating "this is not a citation".  What?!  It wouldn't be fair to NOT write me a ticket yet he can justify not writing these law breakers one?  I'm not pleased, to say the least.

 

That set off a chain of events that made for quite a night.  John & I got into a fight that was pretty bad so we were up late.  Yesterday I was emotionally hungover so I decided I needed a comfort food day.  I ate anything & everything I wanted.  We did make up & everything is ok now.

 

Today I'm feeling a bit better, still tired though.  I had a weird dream that woke me early gasping for air.  It was strange.  My EGD/ultrasound/psych have been rescheduled to July 18.  My insurance company won't cover procedures at my surgeon's surgical center so we had to move it to a facility with emergency services.  My next nutrition appointment is that Tuesday so it'll be a busy week.  I'm just glad they re-ran my insurance now & not after the procedure.  Silver lining!

 

Ok I feel like today I'm just being a whiner so I'll end it here.  Happy Tuesday!

Pants are overrated

Just when the scale is on my side, making me happy & validating my hard work on my diet I go to put on my size 18 jeans out of the dryer.  Stupid pants.  I'm wearing them today, don't get my wrong, but I fully expected 5 lbs to make a different.  Isn't it funny how we GAIN 5 lbs & suddenly our wardrobe feels like it belongs to a size 4 model but we lose 5 lb & it makes no difference?  Stupid pants. 

 

On another note, happy Friday everyone!  I am picking up my 2nd Bountiful Basket tomorrow & am looking forward to it.  I've really enjoyed cooking this week, knowing I'm filling our bellies with good food rather than the junk food we were eating nightly in the not too distant past.  Afterward I may wash my Jeep or I may crawl back into bed & sleep!  I'll see how that goes. 

 

Sunday we're headed to the lake with friends.  This is a common occurrence in the summertime as we don't have a pool anymore & it's insanely hot outside.

 

I'll keep this short & sweet.  Have a great weekend!

 

Ooh don't forget to check this out:

The Super Moon...
This year's largest and closest "Super Moon" will occur this Sunday (June 23, 2013.)

This super full moon is not only the closest and largest full moon of the year, it also presents the moon's closest encounter with Earth in a long time. So get outside and enjoy the view... Just watch out for werewolves!

It's getting creative up in here

1. I've cooked dinner at home every night since last week.  I am proud of myself as this is a pretty huge accomplishment.  Tonight's menu included chicken scampi over rice with a salad made of romaine, apples, carrots, raisins & poppy seed dressing.
2. I kicked butt at work today; my production was my highest yet & I reviewed 30 calls.
3. I've consistently kept track of my meals on MyFitnessPal & stayed at or under my calorie goals.
4. My bonus this month is shockingly large, so much that I approached the DVP to ensure it's accurate.  She was so thrilled with my honesty that she said even if it's wrong (which I'm positive it is) she's not going to correct it.  Woo!
5. I was so worried about being broke after surgery because I won't have any paid time off but now my worries are gone (refer to #4).
6. I signed up for 2 online classes this Fall.  I've decided to pursue a degree in dietetics (nutrition).  Yet another reason I need to be skinny; who would trust a fat dietitian?  lol
7. I never did change my oil last week so it'll have to wait until I get paid.  But I may actually wash my Jeep this weekend (gasp!)
8. Tonight we watched Destination America about the Grand Canyon.  I've decided that I'll hike it someday.  Havasupai Falls is AMAZING.  Plus, my mother hiked it the first time at around age 50 so I can totally make this happen.
9. My EGD, ultrasound, and psych eval are a week from tomorrow.  My mom was supposed to take me but now my BFF is taking the day off to go with me.  I'm so grateful for her support.
10. John & I are trying to decide where we're going on vacation this year.  Last year we took the coastline up to OR to see his family/friends.  This year we're not sure.  We talked about Knott's Berry Farm; none of us have been.

For some reason I've been exhausted lately, I think the heat is taking it's toll.  I've been ready to crash by 9p every night!  On that note, I'm off.  Until tomorrow!

My Scale Loves Me

According to my scale I've lost 5 lbs.  Woo!

 

I have not been walking as planned; it's just way too hot!  But I'm rocking it at staying on point with my eating.  I'm tracking my food religiously on MFP; John giggles at me every time.  I've cooked dinner at home every night for over a week.  I'm super proud of myself.  I think that it helps me stay on track more when I make sure the kitchen is cleaned every night after dinner.  It may sound silly to some of you, but I'm notorious for leaving dishes in the sink or on the stove & then not wanting to cook because I have to clean the kitchen first. 

I've refocused my attention on the reasons I'm losing, rather than just obsessing about what is on the scale.  Some of the reasons are: 

• I want to be healthy for my son so I can see him grow & keep up with him now.
• I want to avoid the imminent health issues if I stay heavy.  Diabetes & heart disease run in my family.
• I like the way I feel when I eat well.  I actually feel better.  Plus, I love feeding my family good food vs. fast food/junk.

As I type this I'm fairly certain I've touched on these goals/reasons before, but it's important to recap & remind myself.
 

Last night I made dairy free beef stroganoff for dinner.  It was really tasty & only 374 calories including the rice.  Even John said the recipe is a keeper, and the kid liked it too.  He wasn't too happy about the steamed green beans, but he ate them anyway.

I signed up for my 2nd Bountiful Basket & I'm excited to see what's inside.  I still have some fruit & a few veggies left from the one I got Saturday but the corn is all gone.  I love this program!  I went to Trader Joe's last night to pick up some protein to go with my veggies: salmon, chicken sausage/brats, chicken breasts, turkey burgers.  I've rekindled my love for cooking, me thinks.

I guess I should get back to work.  Have a great day everyone!

My Uterus is Evil

Welp, I left work early today because of my pelvic pain.  This is getting to be a monthly occurrence.  Ever since I had my Mirena removed last year my cycle has become increasingly more painful.  I'm certain there is scarring in there from when the sadistic doctor yanked (yes, yanked) it from my insides, knowing it was embedded in the c-section scar tissue.  Oy vay!  Sorry for the gory details.  Anyhoo, since then I've reverted back to the gut wrenching pain I experienced as a teen.  My mother is convinced it's endometriosis and I can't say I disagree.  

I slept the afternoon away & woke up feeling a bit better.  I was able to get the kiddo & start making dinner at a reasonable hour so that was nice.  Working until 6:00 does suck, sometimes.  Dinner tonight consisted of ribeye on the Cuisinart (a much better 2nd attempt), oven roasted corn on the cob, garlic rosemary potatoes, and baked beans for the guys.  Sorry for the food porn, but I do like to share!  Is it technically food porn if it's healthy?  I think maybe not.

So I'm not sure what my "starting weight" was at home, exactly but I think it was around 250.  As of this morning I'm at 246.2 according to my new scale.  I'm happy with my progress & looking forward to seeing what the scale at the doctor's office says.

My EGD, psych exam, and ultrasound are coming up a week from Friday.  After that I just have to see my new PCP to get a letter of clearance/recommendation & finish my nutrition appointments then I'm all done!  Hopefully time goes by quickly!

That's all for now, have a good night!

Weekend Recap

As I started thinking about what I want to write tonight my ex texts me to thank our son for the card then proceeds to give me crap about not having him call to wish him a Happy Father's Day.  Really?  I'm pretty sure the phone works both ways.  It is not my job to facilitate a relationship between him & his son, that is his job.  Furthermore, I have a life too which no longer revolves around him.  He's trying to guilt me.  So I tell my kiddo his dad is upset that he didn't call today.  My son takes the phone into his room & leaves a message telling him why he didn't call (we were out in the Jeep today) then ends with telling him he owes me an apology!  What?  My 9 year old son RULES.  Of course I get another text about how important he feels, etc.  Grow up, seriously.

End of rant.

Yesterday was a good day.  I took my friend's 15 yr old daughter out for girls' day (and my son, lol).  We got mani/pedis, went to lunch, then the mall.  I spent an obscene amount of money, but she absolutely needed time out of the house so it was worth it.  After our day out I arrived home to see that my Amazon goodies had arrived.  I was like a kid on Christmas.  I broke out the scale & the Cuisinart grill already.  I used the grill for dinner last night: ribeye, corn on the cob & grilled zucchini.  Yum!  Ok so the steak was overcooked & mostly like shoe leather but the rest was divine.

Btw, the veggies came from my Bountiful Basket which I am very pleased with.  My box contained mangoes, apples, oranges, plums, avocado, garlic, onion, corn on the cob, baby carrots, and romaine.  I will definitely be ordering again.  

Tonight I made a skillet meal that I got from Costco.  It's a Birds Eye chicken dijon with veggies.  Only 180 calories per 1 cup serving & really tasty.  Even the kiddo liked it!  Along with it we had steamed carrots & corn on the cob.  I'm really on a roll with cooking at home & getting my veggies in.  Speaking of which, my food tracking has been going really well & I've been under my calorie goal on most days, I think I went over once.

Today we took the Jeep out with our club.  We went up to a trail just outside of Jerome, in an attempt to get out of the heat!  It was a nice run & as always we had a great time with our extended family.  The trail is called Smiley Rock because of a huge boulder that has a smiley face on it.

On that note I'm off to bed.  Good night my lovelies!

Food Friday (apparently)

Panda Express is screaming at me from the conference room next to my desk.  They brought in lunch today for the entire floor - about a weekly occurrence here.  But I'm resisting.  Yep.  My stomach is nearly doing somersaults over here, yelling out "I'm doing flips, feed me!  Hey!  Hello!?"  It's pure food torture (see photo).

 

But I'm not going to do it.  Nope.  Instead my friends & I are going to Rubio's.  I've scouted the menu for calories, fats, sodium & predetermined my meal.  I have a plan.  Whoa.  Insert applause here.  This is kind of a big deal.

 

I'm doing well, food wise.  I've been at/under my calorie goal all week & resisted temptations left & right.  We've had lunch brought in at least 2x this week, there's been birthday cake, and the ever present popcorn & slushies that live in the breakroom.  Oh wait, I did indulge a bit in the leftover Oreos in my desk drawer but there were only 3, exactly 1 serving, and it was really just enough.  I'm not sure why I needed to eat the entire bag/roll in the past when 1 serving is plenty.

 

I've been online shopping this week; Amazon loves me.  I bought an indoor grill/panini press, a new bathroom scale, a pressure cooker, a protein mixer bottle, and some new cases for my phone.  Which, btw finally shipped today!  I'm also in the market for an elliptical.  My work will pay me back $100 of the purchase price so that's pretty awesome. 

 

Oh forgot to mention that I tried Rice Dream frozen dessert as a substitute for ice cream.  It's not too bad actually, different texture than ice cream in that you can't really let it melt on your tongue because it's not as smooth.  Hard to explain.  I also bought Soy Dream, but I haven't tried that yet.  I'm just happy to have alternatives that I'm able to stomach.  I love ice cream so I was worried, truly.

 

In other news, my best bud (whom I'm lucky enough to also work with) spilled salsa on her pants.  She now reminds me of the kid in Superbad after dancing with the girl at the party.  If you haven't seen it, you should.  It's funny & mindless, a good Friday night cocktail & friends kind of movie.

 

On that note, I'm going back to my delicious lunch!  Happy Friday my dears!

Happy Thursday!

1) The guy who sits in the desk behind me eats like a cow chewing his cud.  I shall call him Chompie McChomperson.

 

2) My lunch today is delicious!  I'm having a turkey sandwich on a multi grain round flatbread with jalapeno & cilantro hummus and soy cheese.  On the side:  grape tomatoes & carrots with more hummus and jicama.  Nom.

 

 

3) Last night I was Susy Homemaker.  I made mashed potatoes & corn to go with my crockpot chicken.  It was tasty!  And, I even washed the dishes & cleaned the kitchen.  That's a big step for me as my dishes usually sit in the sink for extended periods of time.

 

4) I've decided that I love shopping at Trader Joe's.  I miss Fresh & Easy (they closed the one near me) so this is a great alternative & on my way home.

 

5) My lapband friend said I can ask her anything I want but since I've had you ladies I can't think of anything to ask that I haven't already learned about through you all!

 

6) I still didn't pull myself out of bed this morning to walk. 

 

7) I'm going swimming tonight with a friend so we can both exercise.

 

8) My thighs are rubbing holes in my favorite jeans.  I can't wait until this is no longer an issue!

 

9) My son has been with his dad for the past week & he comes home tomorrow.  I miss him so much!

 

10) My Jeep needs work so I'll be playing little miss grease monkey this weekend & changing my oil, like a boss!  Did I mention it will be 150° by 9:00 am?

 

 

Booty shaking happy dance

I just found out a dear friend of mine, whom I haven't been the greatest at keeping in touch with, just had band surgery on 6/6!  She reached out to me today to talk about job stuff & just let it slip.  She isn't telling too many people but I'm so glad she shared it with me.  I was so excited to tell her that I'm on my journey, too.  She started in January with the same place I tried before (also in January).  She's about 10lbs down already & feeling good, just tired.  This is super exciting!  I know I have you ladies' blogs, etc but it's a bit different to have someone you know in real life also going through it.  This is why I need to meet my AZ ladies! 

 

Side note, lunch again today was tasty!  I polished off the other 1/2 of my eggplant wrap with some veggies & hummus.  It could use a bit more protein though, maybe I'll add a boiled egg.

Oh, it has been brought to my attention that people are not able to post comments to my blog.  I think I've corrected the issue. 

 

Ok, back to Amazon shopping work!

I AM a rockstar, mostly

Happy Wednesday!

 

I made good choices yesterday, even allowed myself a small cheat & still finished the day way under my calorie goal.  No worries, I didn't starve, not even a little.  I calculated my BMR (basal metabolic rate) to determine what I need to just survive, as if I were a potato.  Then I figured out my calorie needs based on my activity level (sedentary, truly).  From there I subtracted 500/day to create a deficit of 3,500 per week which is needed to lose 1 lb each week.  That puts me around 2,000/day.  Here's where I ended up:

 

 

 

Ok, ok so I went overboard on salt (thank you, Chinese food) and sugars... I had canteloupe, my protein shake, and a half of a Moon Pie for dessert so they didn't help.  But I rocked everything else!  My best friend, Becca, and I went to Trader Joe's yesterday & bought stuff for lunches/snacks.  I love

eating healthy, my problem is the convenience of the drive through.  I am not good about grocery shopping and/or preparing such as chopping veggies, etc before they all go bad.  Saturday will be a test for me when I get my Bountiful Basket.  Since I'll be up so early anyway I'm planning to get everything prepped right then.

 

Now let's talk about this morning.  My alarm went off at 6:15 but I had woken up around 5:45 then dozed off and on, contemplating going out for a walk.  Did I go?  Nope.  Instead I laid there until nearly 6:30 dreading getting up.  I love sleep.  I love my bed.  I love laying there in the morning with John.  Gah!  Tomorrow is another day.  I did, however, have enough time to throw some chicken into the crockpot so I can cook dinner at home tonight.  This is a huge deal considering for the past 6 months I have only cooked maybe 1x week at home.

 

One day at a time...

Lunch, son!

I wanted to share... lunch was tasty today!  In case you're wondering, that's a pressed eggplant wrap from Trader Joe's (no tahini dressing), mixed veggies with jalapeno/cilantro hummus, jicama & a dill pickle spear.  Nom!

Listen all of ya'll, it's a sabotage!

Don't mind my Beastie Boys reference ( sorry that's in your head now)... but truly I'm in that self sabotage mode.  I start my days out pretty decent but the afternoon/evening comes & it's a pig fest.  I definitely got in my protein yesterday so that's a plus, but I went over on calories, fat & sugars.  This is a daily battle that I'm eventually going to win.  Oh and the 150° weather isn't helping my case for exercise (walking) either. 

 

What's this?  Another excuse... yeah, that happened. 

 

So tomorrow my goal is to pull my butt out of bed 30 min early to get my walking done.  This is something I have to do, it's good for me!  Why is it is so hard to motivate ourselves to do good things for our bodies?  It should be super easy because in the end we always feel better.  It just doesn't make sense.  I keep telling myself "I have time, my surgery (maybe) isn't until late this year.  Yeah that's my procrastinating self jumping in.  I need to shut that bitch up!

 

Today is a new day.  I'm determined to stay on track - all day - and get some sort of movement in.  Maybe I'll walk circles around the office.  We do have a parking garage I can walk at lunch so it's not directly in the scorching sun.  I will figure it out.  I will get my ass in gear!

 

On a side note, I did sign up for a Bountiful Basket yesterday.  I'm really excited to pick it up on Saturday, despite the fact that I have to pull myself out of bed early.  Hey, I guess I'll be up early enough to walk, huh?  I love fruits/vegetables but my downfall is that I don't prep them so they tend to go bad.  My goal is to cook more at home & I am hoping that having so many choices on hand will help.  Baby steps, right?

 

Oh I bought a Kindle book on Amazon the other day:  Living with the Band by Victoria Ashton.  It's a good read so far.  She tells her story of abuse & her struggle with her weight as an adult.  I'll keep you posted; I think I can share copies if anyone is interested.  Has anyone else read good books about those with the band?  I really enjoy reading others' stories, hence the blogs.  It's motivational & helps give me an idea of what to expect, both the ups & downs.

 

Anyhoo, I better get some work done.  Happy Tuesday everyone!

 

This way or that way?

If you hadn't guessed, I'm a bit indecisive & maybe a tad OCD.  I guess I'd consider myself a

somewhat creative person so because of this I will likely change my blog layout many times before settling.  Although, I have a thing for stars so I may stick with this one.  Hopefully everyone can stick with me on this rollercoaster ride, meaning my weigh loss journey & my frequent blog makeovers.

 

Happy Friday everyone! 

 

I'm having trouble focusing today; I just can't get motivated at work.  I started a new position May 1st & it is less-than challenging, to say the least.  I do like what I do but I'm definitely ready for some variety in my life.  Wait, I'm sending a pattern here...

 

My kiddo is off to his dad's for the next week so I'll be enjoying some quiet time with my sweetie, John.  He works tomorrow so I'll have most of the day to myself which will be nice.  Although, usually by day 2-3 I'm missing my kiddo.  We're headed to the lake on Sunday, again, so that will be nice.

 

My BFF & I hit Costco yesterday for some water, protein shakes, and Clif bars.  This will help me to eat breakfast at work everyday instead of stopping on my way in.  The shakes will also be good for snacks since I'm supposed to get in a routine of eating 4x per day.  I won't talk about how my day ended yesterday, let's just say we went out to lunch & I likely consumed too many calories.  I did, however, swap my fries for a side salad so it's a start.  Also, half of my lunch ended up being dinner too so it's possible that I didn't do terribly bad. 

 

I guess this dairy thing is sort of a blessing in disguise.  Wait, hear me out... one of my leaders is getting pizza from Barro's today - one of my favorites - but since I can't have cheese it's a heck of a lot easier to turn it down.  Boom!  Silver lining.

 

Well my lovelies that's all the time I have for you today.  Make it a great one!

 

Smooches.

Baby Steps

I decided to start today.  My friend had me justifying in my head that it was ok to wait until Monday to get down to business on my goals but I know I need to start somewhere & today just makes sense: it's a clean slate.

So, I had myself talked out of stopping for breakfast & was planning to eat my oatmeal packets I have in my desk.  But I did end up in the drive thru after all.  I opted for a pineapple mango smoothie (no yogurt) & an egg white McMuffin (no cheese).  My breakfast total: 

 

Success!  The nutritionist recognizes that I'm busy & eat out often so she set a goal for me to make healthier choices & eat at least 1 meal at home per day.  It's a work in progress.  My son makes his lunch every morning so I may just have him start making mine too while I'm getting ready for work.

 

I'm tired today; we were out late last night so it was a struggle to get out of bed this morning.  I have to find my motivation to get up a little earlier since it's more feasible to get my walking done in the morning vs the scorching heat of the evenings.  I've been looking on Craigslist for an elliptical; I used to have one & I loved it.  I managed to get in 1 3/4 liters of water yesterday so not too shabby there.

 

I hope everyone has a good day!

2 down, 4 to go

I had my 2nd nutrition appointment today.  I took the opportunity to ask Dr. B some of the questions I had regarding band slippage & whether insurance covers any repairs or replacements to the band.  He explained that slippage is actually the stomach pouch stretching and then folding over around the band, not the actual band moving.  Some of you may have already known this, but I actually thought the band moved out of place.  He went on to tell me that if I follow the rules & don't push it by over eating which results in vomiting then everything should be fine.  He also let me know that if my insurance pays to put it in they'll pay for any issues that arise.  This gets to be more difficult if I change insurance companies.  He also told me a bit about their insurance plan which covers any/all band related issues down the road in the event I lose my insurance provider, etc.  It's nice to know I have options.  I spent last night researching the sleeve a bit more, trying to decide which I want to go with.  After talking to Dr. B today he made me feel better about the band.  I know everyone is different but it's nice to know that I can control how my body adjusts to the band, mostly, if I work it right.

 

Now onto the "fun" part of the visit.  The doc asked about my diet & exercise because I gained 2 lbs since my last visit.  I was completely honest:  I've been eating badly & haven't exercised because frankly I'm worried if I lose too much weight my insurance won't cover my band procedure.  He told me not to worry, they will cover it.  I have other issues of concern (sleep apnea, heart defect) that will help ensure I'm approved.  So on that note I have new directives for this month: increase my water intake, get in 150 minutes of exercise per week, and make better choices when I eat out.  The doctor wants me to lose 10 lbs. 

 

I really hate this waiting game.  I wish my insurance would just approve the band & not make me jump through hoops.  I mean in the long run sleep apnea & other weight induced issues are going to cost them more than the procedure.  And with my family history of heart disease & diabetes it's only a matter of time before my health issues start to get worse (if I stay this way).  Silly insurance company...

 

So, today I weighed in at 254.  My goal is to lose the 10lb before my next appointment on July 16th.  I've got this. 

Spandex & Motivation

 

I've outfatted my jeans.   

 

I broke down Saturday & headed to the thrift store to pick up some jeans/shorts that fit me.  It was a little tough to face, but I know this is only temporary & soon enough I'll be buying jeans because the ones I have are too BIG.  I did pick up a black summer dress that's a bit snug but I'll be able to wear it after I lose a few pounds.  It's strange really how much sizes can vary between brands.  I ended up with a 20W and a 22 in another brand.  I've never worn anything larger than a 19 (thank you LEI Junior plus).  I am at my heaviest point. 

 

I've been MIA the past few days; I just wasn't feeling it for some reason.  I wonder if I started my blog too early.  I'm trying to get approved for surgery so losing weight isn't my focus - the other pre-op checklist items are - so while everyone reading is working so hard to stay on track I'm stuffing my fat face 4x per day to get into the habit of breaking up meals.  My choices are poor for the most part (albeit dairy free!) because I'm afraid to lose & not be approved by insurance.  Oh what a strange "game" this is.  I certainly don't want to brag blog about what I eat.  So I guess I was just at a loss... no pun intended.  I'm trying not to focus too much on it because I feel like it's slowing time down.  Logically I know time isn't going any faster or slower based on where my mind is, but it sure seems that way.  So for now I'm trying to focus on work, family, and process how much my life is going to change while not obsessing about it.

 

Moving on...

 

Sunday we went to the lake with some friends.  It was a beautiful day - didn't even realize the 107° weather.  John took his new (to him) truck & even got to play in the mud.  We're hoping to head out again this weekend.  I'm definitely getting my tan going nicely this summer!

So I have started a mental list of items I'd like to purchase for my journey.  I'm captivated by the Ninja commercials.  My boyfriend has mentioned wanting one (he loves to cook) but knowing that I'll be on a liquid/soft food diet & drinking a ton of protein shakes I'm now on board.  I also want a new scale, maybe one that reads body fat.  Does anyone have suggestions on a decent & affordable product?  I bought my scale from Walmart a few years back & have been pleased with it but lately it's inconsistent.  I've changed the batteries but I just don't trust it.  I'm also considering a food scale.  After reading some blogs it seems it may prove useful.  So, my question is what "tools" do you feel are essential to this process?  Aside from the obvious: spandex & motivation.